the waiting game

I am amazed by how much time in our lives are spent waiting.  And how the word waiting can have so many different feelings attached to it.

I enjoyed sitting at the table with my friends waiting for trivia night to start.  It was a time full of laughing and trash talking the competetion.  It went quickly.

I excitedly anticipated the day we left for our girls weekend.  I was full of plans and expectations.

When someone is visiting or we are hosting a party I am full of anxiety ridden waiting.  The time flies by filled with a seemingly endless to do list.

Then there is the stinky kind of waiting.   Sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the 30 min "wait time" after an allergy shot.  Sitting in the ER waiting for your son to be seen for a broken arm.  Waiting for lab results.  The kind of waiting that makes time stretch out in an unending strand.  Time that fills your tummy with knots and butterflies.

I am waiting right now.  My grandma is dying.  I got a text a little bit ago saying her blood pressure was dropping and her breathing was irregular.  It is just a matter of waiting.  I am too far away to wait and hold my mom's hand.  Too far away to say good bye.  All I can do is sit here crying on and off and wait for the phone to ring.  I can't focus on anything important.  I am actually not hungry for once.  There is nothing to do but let time stretch on, flip through meaningless pages on the internet, pray and wait.....