Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Getting old sucks (or My grand ER adventure)

SO....it wasn't bad enough to injure my tailbone skiing and have to sit on one of those donut pillows.  Oh No.  I had to Zumba myself to the ER.

Let me back up.  Several months ago I started to do Zumba again after a several year break.  The class I had loved was discontinued and I couldn't find one on a time and day and in a location that worked for me.  So I stopped going.  Recently another teacher gave me a pass to try the one she goes to.  I loved it and after several weeks of going I finally committed to getting the multi-week punchcard.

I went yesterday and was excited to be back on the wagon after several weeks off (the holidays, skiing...).  I worked my butt off and had a blast.  When I got home I noticed my back was a little titchy in the left shoulder area.  I ignored it, fed the family, got the kids bathed and in bed, and did all my paperwork for school.

When I got up this morning I had an "OH WOW" moment.  I got in the shower and it just got worse and worse.  By the time I got out of the shower it had taken my breath away and I staggered back to bed, dripping wet and told my husband I wasn't going to work.  Because it is harder to not be at work than actually go in and teach he knew it was serious.  By the time I described all my symptoms he was concerned I was having a heart attack.  A friend agreed to put the kids on the bus and he took me to the ER.

ERs are never anything less than a grand adventure.  I was quickly taken back and hooked up to a heart monitor.  If you have never been hooked to a heart monitor let me describe it to you.  A tech takes a sheet of stickers that would make any toddler envious and sticks them all over your heart area.  Then they take an octopus made of jumper cables and hook each sticker up to the machine.  Then they wrap a sticker around your finger which allows you to play ET with the glowing finger.  Meanwhile they ask you the same questions over and over (name, age, symptoms, pain on a scale of 1 to 10, social security number, insurance card, birthday, favorite ice cream flavor...).

I had the joy of then getting an ekg (which I must add my autocorrecting mac wants to change to keg...what would that do to the er...welcome...here's your keg).  Where another toddler sized sheet of stickers is put all over your body, arms, legs, etc.  You are hooked up.  Then they rip them all off in a fashion that makes an eyebrow wax feel gentle.

They decided it wasn't my heart.  So I got some tasty milk of magnesia.

When that didn't change anything they gave me the mother of all shots.  I am not generally a pansy but holy crap.  I remember burning my head with my curling iron in the 80's.  It felt like that, but on my hip, in the back part.  It was a bit more than "it will sting a little".

Overall, I will be fine. I got a nice muscle relaxer and pain killer.  It is great as long as I can stay home alone and not care for anyone....we'll see how life in the real world goes since I am overrun with small people there :)  I evidently hurt myself dancing.  I think that deserves a special award.....

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