It is a thundery, rainy, stormy day today (and kind of feels like it has been like that all summer so far) and I am sitting here, tired, pondering some of life's great mysteries, such as:
**My kids have gone to bed at 8pm for the last 18 days and gotten up at about 6:30am. Last night they went to bed at 10:30. Logically they should get up at 8:30....nope....6:30 this morning they were moving around in their rooms. What's up with that?
**Most days I stop eating after dinner and in the mornings I wake up and am not hungry for about an hour. Why is it when I eat a lot the night before (we had a BBQ) I wake up STARVED the next morning like I haven't eaten for days?
**My boys are very smart. They have good grades and their teachers love them. What strange vibrations come from the TV that render them incapable of listening, comprehending, or even registering that other people exist? Spongebob Deafness is a real condition....we need a not for profit research group to find a cure.
** Why are people afraid of eating the "last one". Inevitably there is always one cookie, one stuffed mushroom, one scoop of salad left in a bowl.....
**What great force field exists around the laundry. Not only is there the age old mystery of the odd sock but there is the great repelling force that causes laundry to NOT get in the hamper. The amount of clothing next to, behind, and in front of my kids' hampers is amazing.....
**And finally, one of life's greatest mysteries....what is so freakin' hard about changing the TP roll?
What are some of your great mysteries?
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Hand-iversary
Today is the one year anniversary of my husband severing the nerve in his right hand while cleaning up picture glass. It both seems like a long time ago and just yesterday.
No, we don't still have wound cleaning supplies in the bathroom or therapy supplies all over the living room. The hospital and surgeons and therapist have all been paid. You have to look close to see the scars on his fingers.
But he still has pain. Not perpetual pain but things he used to be able to do for hours, like ride his bike or do handy man type things can make his hand ache. He has regained a lot of the feeling in his fingers, but its not all the way there and as the nerves grow they ache.
He is now clumsy. He used to be able to hang nails and screw things into the wall or take things apart and reassemble them. Now he gets frustrated at dropping the screw six times before getting it in or not having the hand strength to tighten something more.
He has become wary, almost afraid, of glass. Whenever a lightbulb breaks or a glass gets dropped, it is me who cleans it up. You see, I am afraid too. I don't want to do that again. It was so scary having no income for a summer. It was scary not knowing if he was ever going to be able to go back to work. It was frustrating not being able to fix it, having to watch as he pushed through the physical therapy working the bands and the putty till he was sweating from the discomfort.
No it wasn't a life threatening accident but it was life changing. We weathered the storm and came out stronger and more appreciative of what we have. Because it only takes a quarter inch shard of glass to change everything.
No, we don't still have wound cleaning supplies in the bathroom or therapy supplies all over the living room. The hospital and surgeons and therapist have all been paid. You have to look close to see the scars on his fingers.
But he still has pain. Not perpetual pain but things he used to be able to do for hours, like ride his bike or do handy man type things can make his hand ache. He has regained a lot of the feeling in his fingers, but its not all the way there and as the nerves grow they ache.
He is now clumsy. He used to be able to hang nails and screw things into the wall or take things apart and reassemble them. Now he gets frustrated at dropping the screw six times before getting it in or not having the hand strength to tighten something more.
He has become wary, almost afraid, of glass. Whenever a lightbulb breaks or a glass gets dropped, it is me who cleans it up. You see, I am afraid too. I don't want to do that again. It was so scary having no income for a summer. It was scary not knowing if he was ever going to be able to go back to work. It was frustrating not being able to fix it, having to watch as he pushed through the physical therapy working the bands and the putty till he was sweating from the discomfort.
No it wasn't a life threatening accident but it was life changing. We weathered the storm and came out stronger and more appreciative of what we have. Because it only takes a quarter inch shard of glass to change everything.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Questionable at Best (part 2)
Now on to the second part of my people judging...I mean people watching from the water parks.
This one involves swimsuits. As a larger, chesty woman, I totally get the challenge of finding a swimsuit that sucks in, covers up, flatters, supports, and isn't ugly. And I understand that you must love your body and be confident blah blah blah. HOWEVER...I saw some people - men and women AND some children who need a friend to tell them "Sweetie....pick something else"
Here are some examples of swimsuit FAIL moments -
*To the teenage girl who had three really skinny friends....just because they had teeny bikinis on doesn't mean you should. Sweetie, your tummy hung over the top of your bottoms....old man style.(and men....that doesn't mean its ok for you either)
*To the several women who had string bikinis - your back roll should not ever be hiding your string.
*To the insanely skinny girls in the really low slung two piece. First, your hip bones shouldn't stick out further than your boobs and second....one word for you - Cheeseburger.
*To the really old stooped wrinkly woman who was about a size 16. Black Bikini - really?
*To the woman with the tiny infant. Honey, I know you want to be in your pre-baby clothes but your tummy still looks like a stretch mark covered deflated balloon.
*And finally to both the man with a solidly hair-covered back and bald head and to the man with long pointy moobs (man boobs). Swim Shirt please! I pay a lot of money for my vision to be corrected, you made me kind of sad about it.
Then there were a few violations of the basic rules of swimsuits - White...never a good idea unless you have thoroughly tested it in your bathtub first. Those weird suits that have just the thin piece of fabric down the front making them a "one piece" not a good look on most people. And if you have to constantly pull your top up or your bottoms out of your crack...you might be wearing the wrong size.
That is my public service announcement for today ;) Back to regular programming tomorrow.
This one involves swimsuits. As a larger, chesty woman, I totally get the challenge of finding a swimsuit that sucks in, covers up, flatters, supports, and isn't ugly. And I understand that you must love your body and be confident blah blah blah. HOWEVER...I saw some people - men and women AND some children who need a friend to tell them "Sweetie....pick something else"
Here are some examples of swimsuit FAIL moments -
*To the teenage girl who had three really skinny friends....just because they had teeny bikinis on doesn't mean you should. Sweetie, your tummy hung over the top of your bottoms....old man style.(and men....that doesn't mean its ok for you either)
*To the several women who had string bikinis - your back roll should not ever be hiding your string.
*To the insanely skinny girls in the really low slung two piece. First, your hip bones shouldn't stick out further than your boobs and second....one word for you - Cheeseburger.
*To the really old stooped wrinkly woman who was about a size 16. Black Bikini - really?
*To the woman with the tiny infant. Honey, I know you want to be in your pre-baby clothes but your tummy still looks like a stretch mark covered deflated balloon.
*And finally to both the man with a solidly hair-covered back and bald head and to the man with long pointy moobs (man boobs). Swim Shirt please! I pay a lot of money for my vision to be corrected, you made me kind of sad about it.
Then there were a few violations of the basic rules of swimsuits - White...never a good idea unless you have thoroughly tested it in your bathtub first. Those weird suits that have just the thin piece of fabric down the front making them a "one piece" not a good look on most people. And if you have to constantly pull your top up or your bottoms out of your crack...you might be wearing the wrong size.
That is my public service announcement for today ;) Back to regular programming tomorrow.
Questionable at Best (part 1)
**Author's note - I originally posted this on FB....I couldn't open blogger from the hotel...who knows why....**
I have many tattooed friends. Some of their tattoos are neat, some are questionable....but all of them have significance to the person who put them on their body permanently. I respect that.
Here in the waterpark capital of the world, I have had the pleasure (??) of judging random strangers' tats. Let me share some of the more memorable....
Your tattoo might be a fail if....
....you have chosen "trust no one" across your NECK!
....from a distance your tattoo looks like a weird mole on the outside of your knee...but upon way closer inspection (like when you almost fell in my lap at the wave pool) it is some tribal symbol in black and the size of a half dollar.
....you have in large letters the names and birthdates of all your children.....paragraph style across your entire back. Hope you don't have any more or someone's name is gonna end on your butt.
.....you have a girl's name tattooed from shoulder blade to shoulder blade....hope you stay together or limit yourself to dating girls of the same name.
.....OR you are said girl and you have the boy's name in a large heart on your shoulder....see above and best of luck Tracy and Kyle....
.....you have a name and birth/death date on your back tombstone style.
.....you have a quote that is so long that I will have to ask permission to stand and stare at your pec long enough to read the whole thing.
I really enjoy people watching and I thank these people and their choices that have made it possible for me to have several good laughs. If you thought these were interesting....just wait for part 2....swimsuit fails....
Sunday, May 29, 2011
melancholy
Isn't that a fabulous word? I am a collector of words. My friends have all heard me say at one point "isn't that fun to say?" I love teaching word choice at school and watching my little friends get excited when they find a new sparkle word in a book we have been reading.
Unfortunately I am actually melancholy today. Friday was our last full day of student attendance. Monday is a holiday, Tuesday is records day and Wednesday is "report card day".
I work with a tight knit group of women in my "department" (at our level there aren't actually departments and special ed isn't allowed to be our own team). In their infinite wisdom, the district and school board created a bunch of "involuntary transfers" in anticipation of the opening of our new elementary school. They exploded our team. They sent us in as many different directions as possible. They left the two teachers who have been at our building for less than a year in the same place but they scattered the rest of us over the other elementary buildings. I am one of five teachers going from our Pre-K building to the other old building. The only special ed teacher going that way. I don't think that the girls over there automatically bring balloons and treats for each others birthdays or just know that there is a set of "ears" for every occasion (like antlers, bunny ears, shamrock antennae). They don't dress up as a themed group for halloween. At least two of the women and I actually have polar opposite philosophies on teaching.
In previous years my whole group of professionals would get together after school and talk about the needs of each one of the students with an IEP in the building. We would discuss which of the four teachers' classrooms would best meet their needs. We knew each others' strengths and weaknesses. We spend about three hours a day with most of the kids in a pretty low teacher:student ratio. We KNOW our kids. We would give our professional recommendations to our administration. Sometimes they would take it all, sometimes just bits but they always at least listened. This year we weren't asked at all. Nada. The gen ed teachers got to get together for a couple hours, with a sub, and place their kids. But not us.
My days always get really stressful as I try to get everything done for the end of the year. Before e-report cards we got a "records" day to finish our progress notes and report cards. Now that most kids don't need to come Wed to pick up their report cards (since they won't get a paper copy anyway) I had to have all my progress notes done by Friday and my report cards are due by 8am on records day. I got sick two saturdays ago, got really behind on my personal stuff and my school stuff and I have been working my arse off to get everything caught up.
I am looking forward to my two months off. I have to take a class for five days in July and I will have to be in starting August 1st to completely unpack my room. I have three truck loads of my personal classroom stuff in my garage that I need to find a home for. But other than all that, I can chill. But I am going to miss my person next year. I am going to miss my girls next year. I am going to miss all my little friends next year (some of whom I have had for three years).
I am sure that the people in the office across town who have never seen me teach or interacted with me and my team have a plan. They did meet with the people in the offices in my building who have come to my classroom once this year and have limited interaction with my team and my students. I just find it hard to believe.
Unfortunately I am actually melancholy today. Friday was our last full day of student attendance. Monday is a holiday, Tuesday is records day and Wednesday is "report card day".
I work with a tight knit group of women in my "department" (at our level there aren't actually departments and special ed isn't allowed to be our own team). In their infinite wisdom, the district and school board created a bunch of "involuntary transfers" in anticipation of the opening of our new elementary school. They exploded our team. They sent us in as many different directions as possible. They left the two teachers who have been at our building for less than a year in the same place but they scattered the rest of us over the other elementary buildings. I am one of five teachers going from our Pre-K building to the other old building. The only special ed teacher going that way. I don't think that the girls over there automatically bring balloons and treats for each others birthdays or just know that there is a set of "ears" for every occasion (like antlers, bunny ears, shamrock antennae). They don't dress up as a themed group for halloween. At least two of the women and I actually have polar opposite philosophies on teaching.
In previous years my whole group of professionals would get together after school and talk about the needs of each one of the students with an IEP in the building. We would discuss which of the four teachers' classrooms would best meet their needs. We knew each others' strengths and weaknesses. We spend about three hours a day with most of the kids in a pretty low teacher:student ratio. We KNOW our kids. We would give our professional recommendations to our administration. Sometimes they would take it all, sometimes just bits but they always at least listened. This year we weren't asked at all. Nada. The gen ed teachers got to get together for a couple hours, with a sub, and place their kids. But not us.
My days always get really stressful as I try to get everything done for the end of the year. Before e-report cards we got a "records" day to finish our progress notes and report cards. Now that most kids don't need to come Wed to pick up their report cards (since they won't get a paper copy anyway) I had to have all my progress notes done by Friday and my report cards are due by 8am on records day. I got sick two saturdays ago, got really behind on my personal stuff and my school stuff and I have been working my arse off to get everything caught up.
I am looking forward to my two months off. I have to take a class for five days in July and I will have to be in starting August 1st to completely unpack my room. I have three truck loads of my personal classroom stuff in my garage that I need to find a home for. But other than all that, I can chill. But I am going to miss my person next year. I am going to miss my girls next year. I am going to miss all my little friends next year (some of whom I have had for three years).
I am sure that the people in the office across town who have never seen me teach or interacted with me and my team have a plan. They did meet with the people in the offices in my building who have come to my classroom once this year and have limited interaction with my team and my students. I just find it hard to believe.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
My head hurts
So, it was once said by a wise aide during an especially trying day, "This feels like being the only sober person in a bar"
I am having one of those weeks. Yesterday was full of "failure to communicate" moments and this morning started very similarly.....
Dyl comes in my room every morning to see if it is too late for me to call in. He has this amazing "stomachache, tired, headache, leg ache" illness that strikes between 6 and 7am on school days and church days and any time he is asked to do a chore. He is sitting on the floor in my closet. Brenden walks in to dig in the sox box to see if he can find some socks without holes.
We are chatting about this and that as I patiently wait for them all to leave so I can get dressed without stepping on one or the other. Brenden mentions that he would like to watch the movie, The Ten Commandments. I explain that he's on his own with that one because no one else in the family wants to watch.
Dylan says "I want to see it! I don't know what the ten commandments are anyway" (Now I know that he has heard about the ten commandments at church - I am his faith formation teacher!)
Brenden, "They are the rules"
Mom, "They are the ten rules that God gave us to live by. Honor your mother and father. Don't steal. Don't hurt or kill other people. Respect God."
Dylan, "Oh I heard of don't steal...."
Brenden, "There are more than 10." (WHUCK?)
Mom, "Ummmm no there are 10, its in the title"
Brenden, "No, there is communion and Easter"
Mom,"Those aren't commandments"
Brenden, "Trust me there are more than 10"
At which point I kicked them all out. Seriously. That is not the first conversation I want to have in the morning. It was much like yesterday's conversation
Me:"Write your sentence on this piece of paper"
Student: "Can I write on the paper?"
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
ISAT and other fun times
So last week was ISAT and while my classroom is usually the generator of really funny things, ISAT brought it to a whole new level....For those of you who don't know the ISAT is Illinois' version of the high stakes test that is to measure "adequate yearly progress". It is six hour long tests over a four day period for third graders. Here is a sampling of random things heard in my classroom during our testing sessions:
*(while looking at a diagram of a prairie dog home with "dry room" as one of the labels) "Hey look, this is where they keep their dryer"
*I don't know much about this subject, do I have to write on this prompt or can I just write something else?"
*Hmmmmm, "I think I'll pick A"
*Let me take a closer look (moves face closer to page)
One of my students also had a little "in his seat" boogie he kept doing. It became impossible for any of the three adult moderators to make eye contact with each other. The kids really tried (for the most part) and by Thursday they were totally fried and slap happy. We played an inferring game Thursday after the last test. Between the fact they were wiped out and the fact I was wiped out when one of them guessed "chicken" for a riddle which had "hardest bone in the body" as one of the clues we ended up laughing so hard that I was crying and people from adjoining rooms came in to see what the noise was.
It was good to get back to normal on Monday. The only funny thing I heard all day was "I fell at recess and my skin fell off". Don't worry though, he only skinned his knee.
*(while looking at a diagram of a prairie dog home with "dry room" as one of the labels) "Hey look, this is where they keep their dryer"
*I don't know much about this subject, do I have to write on this prompt or can I just write something else?"
*Hmmmmm, "I think I'll pick A"
*Let me take a closer look (moves face closer to page)
One of my students also had a little "in his seat" boogie he kept doing. It became impossible for any of the three adult moderators to make eye contact with each other. The kids really tried (for the most part) and by Thursday they were totally fried and slap happy. We played an inferring game Thursday after the last test. Between the fact they were wiped out and the fact I was wiped out when one of them guessed "chicken" for a riddle which had "hardest bone in the body" as one of the clues we ended up laughing so hard that I was crying and people from adjoining rooms came in to see what the noise was.
It was good to get back to normal on Monday. The only funny thing I heard all day was "I fell at recess and my skin fell off". Don't worry though, he only skinned his knee.
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