Things that make you go "WHUCK?"

Whuck is my new favorite word.  I acquired it from my reading of a blog titled "Rants from Mommyland"
It rocks.  It is a curse without actually being a curse.  It works perfectly for describing some of the more ludicrous things I experience daily....like this:

My hubby bought me a new flat iron for my birthday.  It is fabulous because where as I go in and buy the $14.99 special he actually goes to the beauty supply and asks which one within a certain price range is the best and then actually spends money on it.  It came with a manual entitled USER INSTRUCTIONS which has helpful information in three languages.  I bet you didn't know that there were five pages of necessary instructions and safety warnings involved with a basic flat iron (I think I was even a huge rebel and and used it before reading the directions....despite the warning to really thoroughly before use).  Among the informational gems are:

*Do not use while bathing.   Damn...I was going to save time by shampooing and straightening at the same time.....

*Do not place in or drop into water or other liquid.   --- There goes my plan to iron my hair and stir my coffee with it

*Close supervision by an experienced adult is needed when this appliance is used by, on, or near children or invalids. ---- Hmmmm....not even sure what to say about this one

*This appliance is hot when in use (nahhh really?!?) Do not let eyes touch heated surfaces. -- I might have a larger than normal head but HOW THE HECK WOULD I TOUCH MY EYE TO THE FLAT IRON? Pretty sure unless it is popping out of my head the fact that the iron doesn't open flat would prevent that.....

*Never use while sleeping ---- This one is my favorite.  I am a secret sleep hairstylist...its a rare form of sleep walking.  Glad they warned me of the dangers.....

*Never drop or insert any object into any opening.  --- Does this mean I may not use it to insert the chocolate candy into my open mouth....

*Do not use outdoors or operate where aerosol spray products are being used or where oxygen is being administered. --- And I so like to take mine camping and to the ICU....  I am confused how to use my hairspray in a different room and then run back to the bathroom where I use the flat iron without the hairspray drying in the process.....

Now don't you feel safer already.  The scary part for me is that these were probably all written in response to some idiot's lawsuit.  I tried to pass it off as a bad translation from Chinese to English until I saw the fine print... distributed by ****, Omaha, NE......