melancholy

Isn't that a fabulous word?  I am a collector of words.  My friends have all heard me say at one point "isn't that fun to say?"  I love teaching word choice at school and watching my little friends get excited when they find a new sparkle word in a book we have been reading.

Unfortunately I am actually melancholy today.  Friday was our last full day of student attendance.  Monday is a holiday, Tuesday is records day and Wednesday is "report card day".

I work with a tight knit group of women in my "department" (at our level there aren't actually departments and special ed isn't allowed to be our own team).  In their infinite wisdom, the district and school board created a bunch of "involuntary transfers" in anticipation of the opening of our new elementary school.  They exploded our team.  They sent us in as many different directions as possible.  They left the two teachers who have been at our building for less than a year in the same place but they scattered the rest of us over the other elementary buildings.  I am one of five teachers going from our Pre-K building to the other old building.  The only special ed teacher going that way.  I don't think that the girls over there automatically bring balloons and treats for each others birthdays or just know that there is a set of "ears" for every occasion (like antlers, bunny ears, shamrock antennae).  They don't dress up as a themed group for halloween.  At least two of the women and I actually have polar opposite philosophies on teaching.
 
In previous years my whole group of professionals would get together after school and talk about the needs of each one of the students with an IEP in the building.  We would discuss which of the four teachers' classrooms would best meet their needs.  We knew each others' strengths and weaknesses.  We spend about three hours a day with most of the kids in a pretty low teacher:student ratio.  We KNOW our kids.  We would give our professional recommendations to our administration.  Sometimes they would take it all, sometimes just bits but they always at least listened.  This year we weren't asked at all.  Nada.  The gen ed teachers got to get together for a couple hours, with a sub, and place their kids.  But not us.

My days always get really stressful as I try to get everything done for the end of the year.  Before e-report cards we got a "records" day to finish our progress notes and report cards.  Now that most kids don't need to come Wed to pick up their report cards (since they won't get a paper copy anyway) I had to have all my progress notes done by Friday and my report cards are due by 8am on records day.  I got sick two saturdays ago, got really behind on my personal stuff and my school stuff and I have been working my arse off to get everything caught up.

I am looking forward to my two months off.  I have to take a class for five days in July and I will have to be in starting August 1st to completely unpack my room.  I have three truck loads of my personal classroom stuff in my garage that I need to find a home for.  But other than all that, I can chill.  But I am going to miss my person next year.  I am going to miss my girls next year.  I am going to miss all my little friends next year (some of whom I have had for three years).

I am sure that the people in the office across town who have never seen me teach or interacted with me and my team have a plan.  They did meet with the people in the offices in my building who have come to my classroom once this year and have limited interaction with my team and my students.  I just find it hard to believe.

My head hurts

So, it was once said by a wise aide during an especially trying day, "This feels like being the only sober person in a bar"

I am having one of those weeks.  Yesterday was full of "failure to communicate" moments and this morning started very similarly.....

Dyl comes in my room every morning to see if it is too late for me to call in.  He has this amazing "stomachache, tired, headache, leg ache" illness that strikes between 6 and 7am on school days and church days and any time he is asked to do a chore.  He is sitting on the floor in my closet.  Brenden walks in to dig in the sox box to see if he can find some socks without holes.  

We are chatting about this and that as I patiently wait for them all to leave so I can get dressed without stepping on one or the other.  Brenden mentions that he would like to watch the movie, The Ten Commandments.  I explain that he's on his own with that one because no one else in the family wants to watch.

Dylan says "I want to see it!  I don't know what the ten commandments are anyway" (Now I know that he has heard about the ten commandments at church - I am his faith formation teacher!)

Brenden, "They are the rules"

Mom, "They are the ten rules that God gave us to live by.  Honor your mother and father.  Don't steal.  Don't hurt or kill other people.  Respect God."

Dylan, "Oh I heard of don't steal...."

Brenden, "There are more than 10."  (WHUCK?)

Mom, "Ummmm no there are 10, its in the title"

Brenden, "No, there is communion and Easter"

Mom,"Those aren't commandments"

Brenden, "Trust me there are more than 10"

At which point I kicked them all out.  Seriously.  That is not the first conversation I want to have in the morning.  It was much like yesterday's conversation

Me:"Write your sentence on this piece of paper"

Student: "Can I write on the paper?"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ISAT and other fun times

So last week was ISAT and while my classroom is usually the generator of really funny things, ISAT brought it to a whole new level....For those of you who don't know the ISAT is Illinois' version of the high stakes test that is to measure "adequate yearly progress".  It is six hour long tests over a four day period for third graders.  Here is a sampling of random things heard in my classroom during our testing sessions:
*(while looking at a diagram of a prairie dog home with "dry room" as one of the labels) "Hey look, this is where they keep their dryer"
*I don't know much about this subject, do I have to write on this prompt or can I just write something else?"
*Hmmmmm, "I think I'll pick A"
*Let me take a closer look (moves face closer to page)

One of my students also had a little "in his seat" boogie he kept doing.  It became impossible for any of the three adult moderators to make eye contact with each other.  The kids really tried (for the most part) and by Thursday they were totally fried and slap happy.  We played an inferring game Thursday after the last test.  Between the fact they were wiped out and the fact I was wiped out when one of them guessed "chicken" for a riddle which had "hardest bone in the body" as one of the clues we ended up laughing so hard that I was crying and people from adjoining rooms came in to see what the noise was.

It was good to get back to normal on Monday.  The only funny thing I heard all day was "I fell at recess and my skin fell off".  Don't worry though, he only skinned his knee.

Happy for the Holidays

I had to run out yesterday to do some errands.  I didn't want to.  I try to adhere to a strict "do not go out one week prior to or post christmas" schedule.  I always fail, but I always try.  People get mean around this time of year, which is weird.  They also get stupid.  Which is also weird.
This is "the most wonderful time of the year".  Somewhere along the line people have forgotten that the season does that all by itself.  It is wonderful.  People come home (well not all people, it would be nice if everyone got to go home).  We are celebrating the birth of the lord Jesus.  Or we are celebrating a miracle over seven days if we are Jewish.  Or we are celebrating unity of a people if we are celebrating Kwanzaa.  Or we are celebrating the solstice.  There are as many winter celebrations as there are denominations.  Not a single one of them requires the level of stress and nastiness we place upon ourselves...and others.
I digress.  I went out yesterday to pick up a prescription from the doctor's office, dog food, and some sundry groceries.  I wouldn't have gone if the flu hadn't kept me from doing it earlier in the week.  I was dreading the experience.  I was still weak and tired and the thought of the stairs at the doctor's office and the forty pound bag of dog food were daunting.  As I pulled onto the main road I immediately noticed the marked increase in traffic.  There were people every where.....driving like they had never been behind the wheel before.  Crazy tailgating weavers.  Cell phone talking distracted drivers.  People driving 10 mph UNDER the speed limit.  People turning left from the main lane instead of getting in the turn lane.  Still I forged on.  The doctors office was quick in and out.  Petsmart however was slammed.  WTH....people need last minute pet gifts?  I parked a way aways and walked down the aisle towards the store.  Then I stood while six cars raced past me, refusing to let me cross over to the store.  There was a bigger gap after the sixth so I walked across quickly....car 7 flipped me off.  Nice.  The aisle in the pet store were full of people who seemed oblivious to the fact that they and their cart took up the entire aisle....and that when someone said "excuse me" the evil eye was not an appropriate response.  I saw a poor woman with a picture printed from the internet wander the aisles the whole time I was in there, the staff finally helped her as I was checking out.
When I was on my way to the grocery store, I decided to smile at everyone I saw.  Since its a local grocery store, its pretty easy - I always see people I know.  I smiled at the old lady and old man who scowled at me as I passed them in produce (they were moving at the speed of snail).  I smiled at another teacher and at our tech lady.  I smiled at the lady trying to keep her kid in the cart.  I do owe an apology to the woman who offered me a sample of eggnog ice cream.  I grimaced.  It was too close to vomit time to even think that sounded interesting, I couldn't help it.
When I got home I was tired and frazzled.  Had I done enough?  There were so many things I didn't do, decorations I didn't put up, items I didn't buy.  Were my kids going to have the best Christmas?  Why did I have to get sick during crunch time?  Then I got online and read my facebook and the blogs I follow....
Here's what I learned - a friend's mom got admitted to the hospital, a friend's baby won't be home for christmas after all, a friend's crazy ex sent a christmas card (another in a long string of psychological abuses), a friend is missing her BFF who died earlier this year, a boy will be spending christmas in the psych ward after his father walked out on the family, several friends are just now getting this flu, a friend's brother got in a car accident....
I looked at my wacky boys, writing letters to Santa, wondering if they should make him a gift, if he will like the cookies.  They are excited to go see their friend in a Christmas pageant at church tonight.  They are excited to go see lights tomorrow.
The magic of the season isn't in what you did or did not buy.  The magic of the season is in your family and friends.  The magic of the season is in being imperfect.  For me, tomorrow is the day I celebrate that from humble roots, in a manger full of animals, in a bed of straw, a king was born!

How I almost peed my pants in Walmart.

Walmart is the butt of many jokes.  The stuff there is cheap.  A lot of times the stores are trashed or dirty (although our new superwalmart seems to always be mostly neat and clean).  And the people of Walmart....well you know their website.

So yesterday I cleaned for an hour, moved boxes to storage for six, cleaned for another hour, then had to go grocery shopping.  I was lamenting the need to go to the store.  I was tired.  I hadn't showered.  And most of all I was in my sweat pants and a hoodie so I looked like heck (cuz I don't own a nice sweat suit).
I had an epiphany....I didn't need to go to the grocery store I usually go to...where I run into people I know all the time....I would go to SuperWalmart.

Every time I say SuperWalmart I think the store should be wearing a cape somewhere.  The cape would have a giant T on it for tacky.  So I haul my tired butt in the truck and drive with my big ole list to wally-world.  In addition to buying groceries I needed to get things to stage my house....a few more lamps, replacement bulbs, stuff to decorate a classy tree not the fun kid centered tree I usually do, air freshener en masse (I live with boys....they spread funkiness).  As I am looking for a parking spot I am almost hit TWICE by people on their cell phones....a man driving across the lanes in a big hurry to get who-knows-where and a woman who passed me later still looking for a spot.  I am feeling pretty confident as I walk in. I had seen about twenty people worse dressed than me as I was parking....including a pair in matching neon green pants.  Meander into the store, turn to grab a cart, and run into a girl from school and her mom who worked with my husband.  So much for going incognito.  Sweatpants, greasy hair in pony tail, no make up, big ole zit greeting people on its on....hellooo people I know.  Rats!

SO, midway through trying to choose some not tacky Christmas tree decor my phone rings.  I am meandering the aisles chatting with my bestie.  I am doing the time honored drive the cart with one hand and one elbow alternating with the two hands while precariously balancing the phone on my ear method.  Chat chat chat SCREAM "OH MY GOD!  Ohmygodohmygodohmygod"  My bff says "what happened"  I am still recovering from the shock of the small grey mouse that just ran right in front of my cart, leapt across the aisle and disappeared under the display on the other side.  My heart is racing and I am short of breath as I explain.  She laughs and says "that's unusual...they usually don't come out in the day time".  Great....so daylight savings screwed up the mouse clocks too....  I put her on hold and tell the sales associate at the end of the aisle, who already is laughing at me.  He tells me its his pet.  I consider leaving my cart of crap and going to the bathroom, but am afraid of getting mice in my pants....so I trooper though it and scurry home to pee in the safety of my own home....where my hubby also found it quite funny....

A girl can't get any sympathy....maybe I'll start a FB support group for Mice attacks at Walmart.
Merry Christ-mouse :)

From my Facebook

This received a lot of compliments on FB so I thought I'd move it to here for my non FB friends and millions of followers (lol)

A soldier came home today to Chatham.  Not to cheers and joyous hugs but to tears and broken hearts.  This soldier came home not riding a grand parade of motorcycles or on a jeep but in the back of a hearse.  This soldier came home to the most amazing, saddest, most heart wrenchingly beautiful welcome I think I have ever experienced.

People gathered lining Route 4 as far as the eye could see.  Both directions.  Both sides of the road.  Boy Scouts in uniform.  Flags waving from strollers to senior citizens.  As the motorcade got closer to where we were standing and the police lined the intersections and stopped traffic the crowd moved to the very edge of the road.  The Chatham cherry picker fire engine raised its bucket displaying a flag and turning on its lights.  As the first glimpse of the motorcade itself people raised their flags and put their hands over their hearts.  The Illinois Patriot Guard roared through.  Probably fifty of the most diverse group of riders you'll see united for this cause.  Emergency vehicles from Chatham, Illinois State Police, Sangamon County Sheriff, and Rochester preceded the hearse.  People raised their flags and put their hands on their hearts.  As the soldier's ride came into view, silence covered the land.  Conversations stopped.  Children sensed the change in atmosphere and stopped talking.  Even the birds were silent.  Never have I heard the town square so quiet.  Even the car motors seemed muted.  My arms were covered in goose bumps and tears ran down my cheeks.

The rest of the procession was a line of distraught family and friends.  People my age.  An older woman, perhaps Grandma? crying while raising her hand and thanking the crowd.  Stoic soldiers, young boys who barely looked old enough to shave, dressed to the nines in their uniforms.  A large Harley riding man with tears on his cheeks streaming into his beard.

When it was over and the roads were open everyone paused for a second, the spell was broken and just like that we got to go back to our lives.  Just like that we were fine.  Just like that we were done.  

But today a soldier came home to his family....in a box.  Today a momma had to prepare to bury her baby.....so we could be free....how do you say thank you for that?

Why I hate the Iphone....and other cellular pet peeves

I have a pet peeve specific to the Iphone.  Don't get me wrong there are other phone users who make the same grievous faux pas but it seems that if you get an Iphone it becomes imperative that you do this.....like there is some mind altering frequency being emitted from the earpiece...
It goes something like this...

You are in a restaurant (insert other public place or social gathering) and of course everyone takes their phones out and sets them in sight in case the sitter/spouse (or someone more important than the people you are with) calls/texts.  Inevitably two people will have iphones.  They then grab their phones and start "bumping," comparing apps or looking through websites together.  Their need to show off their toy leads them to start this elite club and exclude them from the rest of the group.  Everyone else is chatting and socializing.  They are chiming in every now and again with a "look at this thing my phone can do" and show you a pair of rolling dice or a zippo you can light by shaking the phone.  When you get home you discover fifteen pics and status updates from the evening on their facebook which is funny b/c they would have had more fun actually interacting with the people there rather than having a playdate with their phone and five of their phone's closest friends.

I get irritated with the lack of social skills of many cell phone users.  My husband thinks I am overreacting and not changing with the times.  I truly think, however, that chatting on the phone while in the car is rude to the other people who might like to be chatting with you in person.  Texting and updating your FB status while in a small group social setting is also rude.  I have texted people while out socially but generally they go like this "where are you?" "when are you getting here" or "are the children ok and the house still standing"

Cell phones are great things.  Gone are the days of leaving sixteen emergency numbers for the sitters.   Gone are the days of having to find a pay phone and risking scary cootie germie bugs to call someone while out.  Gone are the days of having to answer the phone when my mother in law calls (now she calls my husband's phone exclusively...not sure she even has my number).  I just worry that we have created a huge umbilical cord to the cyberworld, so much so that we can't go more than a few minutes without checking email, FB, or blogs/message boards.  The world wide web is great but it will never replace an actual friend and a real social relationship.....