Sunday, November 28, 2010

How I almost peed my pants in Walmart.

Walmart is the butt of many jokes.  The stuff there is cheap.  A lot of times the stores are trashed or dirty (although our new superwalmart seems to always be mostly neat and clean).  And the people of Walmart....well you know their website.

So yesterday I cleaned for an hour, moved boxes to storage for six, cleaned for another hour, then had to go grocery shopping.  I was lamenting the need to go to the store.  I was tired.  I hadn't showered.  And most of all I was in my sweat pants and a hoodie so I looked like heck (cuz I don't own a nice sweat suit).
I had an epiphany....I didn't need to go to the grocery store I usually go to...where I run into people I know all the time....I would go to SuperWalmart.

Every time I say SuperWalmart I think the store should be wearing a cape somewhere.  The cape would have a giant T on it for tacky.  So I haul my tired butt in the truck and drive with my big ole list to wally-world.  In addition to buying groceries I needed to get things to stage my house....a few more lamps, replacement bulbs, stuff to decorate a classy tree not the fun kid centered tree I usually do, air freshener en masse (I live with boys....they spread funkiness).  As I am looking for a parking spot I am almost hit TWICE by people on their cell phones....a man driving across the lanes in a big hurry to get who-knows-where and a woman who passed me later still looking for a spot.  I am feeling pretty confident as I walk in. I had seen about twenty people worse dressed than me as I was parking....including a pair in matching neon green pants.  Meander into the store, turn to grab a cart, and run into a girl from school and her mom who worked with my husband.  So much for going incognito.  Sweatpants, greasy hair in pony tail, no make up, big ole zit greeting people on its on....hellooo people I know.  Rats!

SO, midway through trying to choose some not tacky Christmas tree decor my phone rings.  I am meandering the aisles chatting with my bestie.  I am doing the time honored drive the cart with one hand and one elbow alternating with the two hands while precariously balancing the phone on my ear method.  Chat chat chat SCREAM "OH MY GOD!  Ohmygodohmygodohmygod"  My bff says "what happened"  I am still recovering from the shock of the small grey mouse that just ran right in front of my cart, leapt across the aisle and disappeared under the display on the other side.  My heart is racing and I am short of breath as I explain.  She laughs and says "that's unusual...they usually don't come out in the day time". daylight savings screwed up the mouse clocks too....  I put her on hold and tell the sales associate at the end of the aisle, who already is laughing at me.  He tells me its his pet.  I consider leaving my cart of crap and going to the bathroom, but am afraid of getting mice in my I trooper though it and scurry home to pee in the safety of my own home....where my hubby also found it quite funny....

A girl can't get any sympathy....maybe I'll start a FB support group for Mice attacks at Walmart.
Merry Christ-mouse :)

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